History of Navy Jokes


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Five awesome facts about the Coast Guard

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I used to be in the Coast Guard, and I’d always get a lot of questions whenever I’d walk around in uniform. Questions like “How long have you been in the Air Force?” and “What time does my train leave?” These were all important questions, of course, but I rarely had the answers. "Uh...sure." Sometimes, though, people would realize I was in the Coast Guard, and they’d ask me questions about that. Most of them were pretty basic – “Is the Coast Guard like the National Guard?” “Is it really a part of the military?” Others were more complex. “Do you deploy to Iraq?” “Do you literally just stand there and guard the coast all day?” Much like how the Air Force is literally just a force of air. To answer (some of) these questions, I decided to put together a quick list: FIVE AWESOME FACTS ABOUT THE COAST GUARD
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Don't Get Pepper Sprayed (It Sucks)

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Imagine for a moment, during a Tex-Mex meal gone wrong, that someone squirts a packet of hot sauce into your eyes.     This is how it feels to get pepper sprayed. For the first few seconds. Then the real stuff kicks in, and it’s more like they doused your face in boiling grease. "NO SERIOUSLY, DO YOU PRACTICE THAT IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!"
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My College Wouldn't Let Me Look At My Food

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When I was 18, I joined the U.S. Coast Guard Academy (yes, that’s a thing). It’s similar to the Naval Academy or West Point in that it’s one of the four federal military academies. You go there, train for four years, and enter the service when you graduate. I won’t lie – none of these Academies are a cake walk (okay, maybe Air Force), but I'm convinced the Coast Guard Academy's rules are the toughest to deal with. Why? Because it’s the smallest of the four – only a thousand cadets – meaning you get a LOT more scrutiny on any given day. Ranks at the Academy work like tiers on an airline. First class is highest (seniors), second class is next (juniors), then third class (sophomores), and finally fourth class (freshman). You get new priviliges as you move up in rank, each time restoring some of your basic human freedoms: firsties get to drive cars and can leave base most often. Second class can wear normal clothes, third class can wear suits and ties when they go ...
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